Saturday, September 19, 2015

Seasons Of Change

As autumn approaches (technically on September 23rd, 2015 for the northern hemisphere) and the term “seasons of change” seems to be recycling in my head.  I try not to get too personal on RestlessGenes, but things are changing very much in my life right now and the timing seems right to share.

First, I’m going through a divorce (my choice).  It was a difficult decision and we are moving through the motions and challenges to finalize things.  A couple of months ago my ex mentioned he thought my decision had to do with me being restless and needing change.  At that time the answer was no, but after a couple of months to think about it a bit more maybe 5% of my decision was based on being restless.  I recently read marriages with only one partner as an ADD/ADHDer are twice as likely to divorce compared to marriages without an ADHD spouse, or when both spouses have ADD/ADHD.  It’s sad to think about it, but our marriage has become a part of this statistic.  The whole divorce thing is complicated, however my ex brought up a valid point in which I will continue to think about and reflect on for some time.

Living in the mountains of Colorado is my absolute favorite.   Trying to find a home in possibly a new community is exciting and yet exhausting.  Home searching is not an easy task!  Buying a house, building a house or being more mobile are all options running through my head.  As many of you can relate, when there is a nearly completely open direction it can be hard to focus on just one interest.  Luckily, I’m not locked into any time frame,  so it will be interesting to see what unfolds and where I will end up this time next year. More to come on this adventure for sure!

My lovely daughter is graduating from high school this December and is preparing to enter adulthood and attend college soon.  As a parent, it’s always hard to see your teen move on and start their own life.  Part of me is sad because I will miss her so much.  The other part of me is so dang stinking proud I just want to squeeze and kiss her for hours! She is one of those people who will totally do amazing things in her life.

Lastly, my life is about to made very public very soon.  I was given the official go ahead to share my exciting news, but am waiting until next week to make the announcement.  So, check back here next week or on my facebook or twitter pages! 

In light of all the changes going on in my life,  I recently completed a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation retreat.  It was definitely an enlightening experience combined with a few very emotional realizations during the journey. If you aren’t familiar with Vipassana Meditation practices, please check it out.   The themes and practice have stood the test of time from Buddha through today.  The themes include being in the moment, observing ourselves and accepting life is constantly changing.  I found a special connection to all three of these themes during the duration of the course, but as you can guess, the theme of change can easily be tied into restlessness.  It was comforted to learn about a meditation practice concentrating on constant change. Accepting change  also helps us become aware of being too attached to things, ideas, people and perceptions.  Yes, having a healthy attachment and love to family members, especially in the infant through teen years, is important.  However this attachment is different.  This attachment addresses clinging onto the past or future and ownership of things and people.   Seriously, check out a course in your area or even travel to another country.  The courses are technically free and students are encouraged to serve (volunteer) in the future and donate what you can based on personal experience, learning and financial ability.  Contact me if you'd like to learn more, however I won't share too many of my details.  If you are seriously considering attending a course,  only look at the Vipassana website and staying away from other people's personal detail stories, as each person will have a different experience during the course.  Attend with a completely open mind with out any expectations, other than you will be safe, it won't be easy and you'll be taken care of.

Change and transition is a definite theme in everyone’s life, but even more so in the lives of those who thrive with it.  What changes are going on in your life?  If so, what are you clinging onto that you need to let go?